Most of you know that I am curvy to say the least. Possibly not as big as I might lead you to believe, but curvy none the less. Curvier since I had a bra fitting...I went up a cup size (or two) and down a dress size, not bad without surgery! was just staggered at the fact I'm a 38f!! I need new undies now!
Changes in my meds though have meant that I have regained some of the weight I lost, due to the meds I was on last year. Beta blockers are associated wih weight gain....sigh! talk about not being able to catch a break.
I am gearing myself up for a social event in honour of a family member who has made some nasty comments about my weight in the past. ( one was 'you must eat like a pig to be that big' honestly!) So I am panicing about what to wear and how to stay positive.
This woman once looked me up and down at a wedding (and I looked GOOD) and said she liked my shoes!!
I do avoid her like the plague and ignore her but comments like that are nasty and do hurt.
However, a few things I've read have realy made me think.
I decided I'm not going to fight my body anymore. I am going to look at its positives etc, flaught the gorgeous bits and learn to improve and disguise the not so great bits.
Therefore I have signed up for fat acceptance blogs and fatshion blogs. What a blast some of these ladies are beautiful and inspire me with Project Va va voom. I love the fact Vogue and ASOS have curvy blogs and ranges. I am begining to realise I prefer men and woman who are a bit more cuddly. I think it looks nicer. But thats my preference. I get that it's not everyones. Honestly I feel and look great and so pretty, everyone should do something like it.
But what I notice is the people that have real deep seated angry feelings towards overweight people. This has slowly dawned on me. mainly because when I was slimmer certain people were nicer to me, now I'm getting biger and we're talking a mere dress size here, I can see them go cold on me. And this birthday bash is meaning I am getting worried...
Online I have read some amazingly negative comments... but what stuns me is that people really feel they have a right to talk to people who are overweight as if they are subhuman, as if they are morally suspect and must be punished, denied medical treatment, shunned from social placed, laughed at for being sexual beings, it's as if we are dirty or diseased.
And then we come to the overweight people who view themselves as 'real woman' and anyone slim as 'starvng themselves'....oh come on...surely any woman breathing is a real woman regardless of size? That makes you just as bad as the slimmer people who slag you off.
Isn't thsi just like body bigotry?
I'm not going to change anyones view that big is beautiful...thats not my issue..but surely people must realise that being remotely polite will go a long way and if someone only loves you for your figure, wow trust me, that can go quickly and without mercy, believe me I know.
I remember one guy I went out will in all seriousness said he'd find me more desirable if I lost weight...I remember being stunned into silence as this bloke was tubby, very very cute but undeniably tubby and more overweight than me. Before I found my voice he had proposed. I declined and swiftly chucked him without regret.....and in no uncertain terms told him why. I would NEVER say anything like that to someone. Ever.
I do put a certain effort into how I look and would to an extent expect my partner to do the same, just a little. Not to the extent its the focus of my life, far from it. I like to look and smell and feel pretty and I do.
I just cannot for the life of me understand why people need to be horrible about bigger people. If you don't find them attractive, fine.
But be warned I don't find mean people appealing.
